Dude Porn

Chick Porn part deux: Back to the tired old chestnut "romance = chick porn." Besides teh ebil, ebil (yet titillating) sex that's rampant (tee hee) in rom lit, critics often lob the "romance = brainless formulaic pap" chestnut as well. I'm not going to go into why there's nothing wrong with a little formulaic-ness because plenty of other wiser folk have done it so well already, but I want to know why people don't get so friggin' up in arms about the formulaic pap that is Dude Porn.

"Chick Porn" = focus on emotional conflict. It's everything from "I'm a virtuous Quaker and you're a licentious Duke who had a stroke and I can't fall in love with you but O NOES!" to "I'm an emotionally locked down female surgeon and you're the (younger) hottie darling of society so I can't believe you love me and now we're stuck in the Swat Valley during an uprising O NOES!" to a million other stories exploring (but not limited to) the following: childhood abuse, wife abuse, dislexia, racism, classism, women's oppression, etc.

"Dude porn" = I'm at the bottom of the food chain and my life sucks... But guess what? It's going to start sucking worse! Oh snap, now EVERYONE's out to get me! I hit rock bottom O NOES!! ADRIAAAANNNNN!!!!... I figure out some incredibly improbable solution, blow up the bad guys, get the girl, and now I'm at the TOP of the food chain, muthafuka!

Where are all those self righteous critics who hate on rom lit all the time? Why aren't they bemoaning the zombifying effects of Die Hard and XXX? Yet there's something about a genre written BY WOMEN, FOR WOMEN, that addresses WOMEN'S NEEDS, CONCERNS AND DESIRES - and yes, some of it is crap but a lot of it is really quite excellent - that turns people into... well... mindless zombie-critics "RRrraarr... Brrraainz... Rrrrrr... Romance baaaaaaddd..."

Women and men have different kinds of "porn" but that doesn't mean it has to be badly written, either the chick or dude variety. I read romances but I like sci-fi, horror and British mob movies too. Why all the hate only for rom lit? Srsly, does the world really need another Fast and Furious? But GOD FORBID there's a woman somewhere in the (fictional) universe who's happy, both in and out of the sack. Time to get out witch-burning implements!