Bella's Epistolary Intervention

My alternate title for this post was "Glaring Is Not Romantic, Either!" Excerpts from the said friend's article:

Dear Bella,

I still can’t believe that you moved to a town named after an eating utensil! I mean really, Forks, Washington?!? Anyway, I just want you to know that our little crew of misfits and freaks really misses you and we hope you won’t forget us. Sugar, write back. I want to know everything that’s going on.

All the best,
J

Bells,

There is absolutely no reason to blame yourself. Just because “the most beautiful guy you’ve ever met” freaks out around you and tries to withdraw out of biology class doesn’t mean that it’s your fault. People, especially guys, can act odd for a number of reasons, hormones perhaps, I don’t know? What I do know is that you shouldn’t beat yourself up. Bella, you’re a smart, creative and funny person. Anyone who’s worth you spending your time thinking about should relate to you on that. If you and he had actually had any interaction besides staring at each other, then maybe it would be worth trying to figure out what happened. But seriously, glaring at you is not reason enough for you to fall for him.

J

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Bella, Bella, Bella,

I’m not against Edward because he’s a vampire! It’s just that the more I hear about your relationship with him, the more it troubles me.

You’ve said that your relationship with Edward was different because you were the one pursuing Edward sexually, that he was pushing you away. He even told you that he doesn’t want to have sex before marriage because he is fearful of taking your “virtue.” Well, for starters Bella, your “virtue” is not tied up into your sexuality. A virtue is a character trait or quality valued as being good. So being kind is a virtue and so is standing up for justice. But a woman’s virginity or lack thereof is neither good nor bad. It’s not a quality, character trait or a virtue. It just is what it is.

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Sometimes I just get so tired of talking about all of this. I mean, think about how many hours we’ve spent talking about sex. Is there nothing else going on? What about global warming? What about the polar bears? I saw this documentary where they are having a harder and harder time finding food because the North Pole is melting. Shouldn’t we be thinking about this stuff way more than who we are dating?

Exasperatedly yours,
J

Dear Bella,

Wow! It’s been so long since I’ve heard from you! What, like a year now? I know you were upset at me over my last letter and I wasn’t sure that you’d write again but it’s good to hear from you...

Congratulations on graduating high school!

So, now you’re not only married, but you’re pregnant!?!?!

I’m really worried about you. I have half a mind to get on a plane and bring you back here for a weekend. Don’t you think it’s strange that your life has become all about Edward and this fetus you’re carrying? It’s like you’re choosing to enter into these oppressive relations and you don’t have to. At first, you were defining yourself in relation to Edward, and now it’s in relation to this fetus you’re carrying and I’m like, this is not a progression.

And then you tell me that not only are you pregnant, but that the fetus you’re carrying is killing you.

I just don’t think that women should have to continue with a pregnancy because it’s the so-called responsible thing to do. That’s the wrong decision to make because there’s nothing “to take responsibility for” just because you had sex.

And besides, just because women become pregnant, doesn’t mean they have to have a baby. Bella, we’re not breeders! Becoming pregnant is not magic and not some gift from god. Hello! It’s all about sperm meets egg. That’s just a natural fact. Maybe if you were paying more attention instead of only flirting with a guy who has constant urges to kill you in biology class....

Can you believe it? I used to think that abortion was an “abomination,” but a lot has changed and I’ve learned to look at the world different. And you know, abortion is NOT murder. It’s a medical procedure. And in this case, it can save your life. Your life matters. It matters to me, and it should matter to you—much more than any fetus.

Bella, we’re young. If I got pregnant, I would have an abortion and not look back. I’ve got dreams, Bella. I am passionate about so much sometimes it feels like I can hardly contain myself! Skateboarding! Music! Theater! Ending world hunger! I want to read every book and see every movie. I want to write poems about truth and life and revolution and love, to look around and get to know the world, however long I have in it. I want my life to be about something. At night I lie awake and think about being part of something that’s really going to be different. The world drifts through my mind sometimes in nightmares that are as real as any vampire or werewolf, probably more so, and outrageous dreams that this ever-changing world could really change for the better, in big ways and small. The moonlight seeps into my eyes in the dark, I can’t help but get up in the quiet of the night and look out at the city through my window, and sometimes for a moment there is a feeling that could only be called possibility. Bella, this should be the beginning of so many things—not the end. For us, and for all kinds of people on this crazy, complicated planet. Why not wake up, Bella, and join me in taking responsibility for all this?

J